ISTJs are honest, dependable and make stable and constant friends. They might not inspire the flash and excitement of being friends with some of the other types, but they make up for it just by always being there. No matter what happens, the ISTJ will always be there, a rock in the storm of life, and this is a truly marvelous thing to know about your friends. If you want to know more about this strong, dependable type, keep reading.
Like most introverts, ISTJs will usually have a small group of good friends. They’ll be friendly enough to everyone in their wider circle, but this inner circle is where their true qualities come out. ISTJs make decisions with their auxiliary function of extroverted thinking. This process likes to make things work properly in the external world. ISTJs use this function to make decisions in every aspect of their life, including how they choose their friends. That’s why, when you want to be friends with an ISTJ, you’ll probably have to go through a probationary period first. The ISTJ will have to methodically and practically evaluate you and your life to make sure it fits with them and their needs. It’s nothing personal. To the ISTJ, it’s just the best way to make sure they don’t waste their energy on a relationship that won’t work.
But once an ISTJ decides that you’re their friend, they will dedicate themselves to the relationship. ISTJs take their responsibilities serious, and to them a friendship is a promise. They promise to stand by you no matter what, and they’ll carry that out with dedication and determination. And this support will probably be practical and rational rather than emotional, because like most thinking types 1 ISTJs are usually less comfortable with the emotional components of life.
As a friend, the ISTJ can be a solid companion who nonetheless knows how to enjoy life and your friendship. They will be open-minded and accepting of your differences, which usually results in them having friends that seem very different, and they enjoy the give and take of relationships with lots of different personality types. You will probably have many happy and fun filled years with an ISTJ at your side.
ISTJ friendships with NTs
ISTJs will sometimes mesh well with NT types. This may seem a little strange to some people, who point out the differences between the sensing (S) processes and the intuitive (N) processes. This difference creates a serious disconnect between the communication styles. People who use a sensing process prefer to talk about concrete, here and now topics, whereas intuitive types prefer to talk about abstract possibilities. However, the ISTJ reliance on logical, rational thought and their respect for knowledge can overcome this gap in the case of NTs. The ISTJ also has a deep seated respect for individual differences which will often drive them to overcome this difference and open themselves up to a relationship with someone who is so different to them.
ISTJ friendships with NFs
ISTJs often find relationships with NFs to be very difficult, perhaps even too difficult to work. Not only do NFs use an intuitive function, which will create problems for conversation and understanding, they also use feeling functions. To ISTJs, who are low drama people who rely on rational thought and argument, people who are overly reliant on emotion can seem too flighty and dramatic. They might even actively avoid spending time with NFs, finding them stressful and even tiring. This isn’t a solid rule of course, some ISTJs have very successful relationships with NFs, but generally speaking this isn’t a good match for the ISTJ.
ISTJ friendships with SPs
ISTJs will often have trouble understanding SPs despite the fact that they share a sensing function. This is because ISTJs use introverted sensing, which is concerned with past experiences and how it made them feel. This function is strongly linked to memory, and it makes the ISTJs very attached to the past versus new experiences. In contrast, SP types use extroverted sensing. This is the thrill seeker function, and it drives users to experience everything they can taste, touch, smell, hear or feel in the external world. These completely opposing ways of learning about the world can create problems for a friendship between these types.
SPs like to explore the world through their senses, whereas ISTJs prefer to stay at home or enjoy the familiar. SP types are also strongly connected to the present to inform their decisions, whereas ISTJs use past experiences to direct them. These tendencies show how this one fundamental difference can create two very different lives. And those lives would be very hard to combine in any lasting way to create a solid and stable relationship.
ISTJ friendships with SJs
Many ISTJs will seek out other SJs as friends because the connection they get from these relationships will fulfil many of the ISTJs needs. For starters, communication will be easy because they share the introverted sensing function and so have a similar way of learning and seeing the world. In the ISTJs eyes, this will cut down on the amount of work they need to do to establish a solid, strong relationship. And to any type that uses extroverted thinking to make decisions, the amount of resources necessary to complete a project are an important consideration. 2 Another benefit of these relationships comes because of the similarities between these types. The shared or similar views will usually help make their relationships peaceful and conflict free, an important consideration to the conflict avoiding ISTJ.
The ISTJ is slow to make friends, but intensely loyal and protective once they do. This is just one of the many qualities that make them worth the time they will take to decide on the relationship. And once you’re friends, they will put time and hard work into the relationship. They won’t let you drift away without good reason, and they won’t turn their back on you when you need them most. And isn’t this what people really want from their best friends?
- 1. Storm Susan. “How You Use Extraverted Thinking – Based On Its Location in Your Function Stack“. Jan 20, 2017. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- “ISTJ Relationships, Friendships & Compatibility“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- Dr. Drenth A. J. “Extraverted Sensing (Se) vs Introverted Sensing (Si). (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- “ISTJ – The Inspector“.
- Thinking types are the personality types that have the T in the third position rather than F. This means that their dominant decision making process is a thinking type, based on rational and logical thought rather than emotion. This can also mean that emotions may be their weak point, or even their blind spot, and thinking types can be a little emotionally insensitive or even blind to emotions at times.
- Extroverted thinking asks how to do things in the most efficient way possible. This includes calculating the amount of time and energy that goes into a project, as well as the best way to complete it. This may seem fairly mercenary, and it can be, but it’s also a highly efficient tool that really understands how to complete everything the user sets out to do.