The ESFP Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationships Expectations

ESFPs like to enjoy their lives and their relationships. For them, life is a series of interesting events and fun filled moments and they bring this zest for life into their life with a partner. Because of this, they need partners who can keep up with their energy and explore the world with them. ESFPs use extraverted sensing as their dominant, which means that they’re driven to explore the world with their senses. And if this natural impulse is stifled through a relationship, an ESFP will quickly find their attention wandering. ESFPs live for the moment, and sometimes have trouble with thinking for the long term in their romantic relationships and their life overall.

But when they are in a relationship, ESFPs are warm and affectionate people who show their emotions easily and expect the same in return. ESFPs have a good level of emotional intelligence, which means they often express their love verbally and enjoy being physically affectionate as well. ESFPs tend to be very upfront with their love language, and usually need this kind of open affection in return to feel connected to their partner.

Meeting Potential Partners

ESFPs are active people who usually meet their potential partners while they’re out exploring the world. Because they thoroughly enjoy meeting and talking to people, they’re usually open to meeting potential partners through set-ups or blind dates, and even if they don’t meet a soul mate at these events they’ll usually come away with a great story or a new friend.

Despite their openness to any type of meeting, ESFPs usually do better when they meet potential partners in the regular course of their lives. ESFPs tend to be active people who enjoy sharing their interests with others, and their partner has to be open to that kind of connection. By meeting their potential partners while they’re out exploring the world, the ESFP can ensure that their new interest can keep up with their lifestyle and shares at least some of their interests and hobbies.

ESFPs in the Honeymoon Phase

ESFPs thrive in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. They naturally live for the moment and sensory stimulation, which means they thrive in the time when everything is new and exciting. Their natural warmth and emotional intelligence means that they’re naturally attentive to their partner as well, cheerfully working to meet their needs in the relationship and keeping it as healthy as possible. They also love to share their world with a new person, and enjoy getting the chance to explore with someone by their side.

ESFPs can be surprisingly nurturing. Their auxiliary function is introverted feeling, which means they’re naturally emotionally intelligent, and this drives them to take care of the people around them. In the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, this will usually come out in a natural attentiveness to their partner’s needs. ESFPs need to make sure they don’t go too overboard with this tendency, as they can sometimes neglect their own needs if someone else’s seem more immediate. And an ESFP who is burned out on caring for others can sink a good relationship fast.

Moving Past the Honeymoon Phase

ESFPs can run into trouble once their relationships move past the honeymoon phase. It takes a lot of maturity before an ESFP is willing to work on a relationship that’s having difficulty or has lost its spark, many ESFPs would just prefer to move onto the next new thing. Their love of pleasure and excitement can be a great disadvantage here, it means that they sometimes consider a relationship broken when the initial spark is gone and routine sets in. This is something ESFPs need to work on if they want a long term relationship.

But if the ESFP truly is ready for a long term connection they make exciting partners who work to keep the fun and interest in their relationship. They always have new ideas, new plans and new adventures in mind, and they’ll usually drag their partner along with them. As long as their partner is willing to go on adventures with them, this trait will keep their relationship fresh long past the honeymoon stage.

The ESFPs Perfect Partners

ESFPs do best with sensing types because they usually have absolutely no interest in talking to people about deeper topics. These topics just slow them down, spoil their good mood and get in the way of their enjoyment of life. ESFPs also don’t do very well with criticism. They prefer to avoid conflict wherever possible, and this tendency can actually damage their relationships, so they can be too sensitive for thinking types. ¹ People who use introverted or extraverted thinking tend to prefer giving and taking criticism openly in the hopes of improving themselves and the people around them. But ESFPs will take this kind of interaction as an attack.

ESFPs do well with an introverted partner. Because they tend to leap first and look and think later, if at all, having the influence of an introvert can be helpful and encourage them to grow. Introverts are known for their tendency for deep thought before they take action, and being exposed to this tactic can be of great benefits to ESFP. And conversely, the natural warmth and excitement of the ESFP type can encourage introverts to get out into the world and enjoy it more. This combination is really a win-win for both parties.

Final Thoughts

ESFPs have a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to relationships. Their natural, pleasure seeking behavior can make them seem fickle to other types, who don’t have the compulsion to see out newness in every part of their lives. But with a bit of maturity, ESFPs can learn to direct this impulse in healthier ways and build the solid and loving relationships that they unusually crave. And as partners, they can be exciting and supportive companions on the adventurous journey that is life with an ESFP.

References

1. Storm Susan. “What Type of Sensor Are You? The Difference Between Extraverted and Introverted Sensing“. Sep 22, 2015. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
2. Wong Kristin. “How The Five ‘Love Languages’ Can Help You Win At Relationships“. Oct 6, 2015. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
3. Storm Susan. “What Type of Thinker Are You? The Difference Between Extraverted and Introverted Thinking“. Aug 31, 2015. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
4. “ESFP – The Performer“.

Footnotes

1. This refers to people who use either extraverted or introverted thinking as their dominant or auxiliary. People who use these functions as strengths tend to be less aware of their own emotions, so they don’t always take offense when others criticize them, and blind to things they say that might hurt others. This can be a disadvantage to their relationship with feeling types, who are more sensitive to emotional content.