Sad to say, many people don’t think about the ENTJ in the context of romantic relationships. This is obviously not because they avoid them, but because most people think of the ENTJ as too career driven to be in long term relationships. But like every other personality type, ENTJs fall in love and they’re often dedicated to finding the romantic relationship, and flourish once they’re in it.
Romantic Relationship Expectations
An ENTJ who’s in good mental and emotional health will look for a relationship that works over the long term. Their dominant function, extraverted thinking, likes to create long term systems that work, and this applies to their relationships as well. Most ENTJs just don’t see the point of a short term relationship that just takes up time and energy and leads nowhere. And anyone who offers this type of relationship will often find themselves left behind.
ENTJs dedicate their lives to goal achievement and self-development, and they expect their relationships to have the same focus. And if the ENTJ feels that their relationship isn’t meeting these ideals, or is hindering their own development, they’ll leave it behind without looking back. ENTJs have high standards for their partners, and these are matched only by the ENTJs standards for themselves.
ENTJs are much more likely to do things for their partner than to express their feelings verbally. This means they’re much more likely to buy things or to perform acts of service for their loved ones. However, they’re usually willing to work to meet their partner’s needs in a relationship, so if their partner needs them to show their love through one of the other love languages, they will work hard to get as fluent as they can in that form of expression. And they will probably expect the same in return.
Meeting Potential Partners
Of all the types, ENTJs are the most likely to go out into the dating world like it’s a business venture. They’re likely to have a list of what they want and to vet people exhaustively to ensure they’re a good fit. This might seem cold blooded and mercenary to some types, but to the ENTJ it’s just good sense. They don’t want to waste the resources on a bad business venture, or on a relationship that won’t work, and this process is meant to avoid these problems.
ENTJs aren’t shy by any stretch of the imagination. They’re blunt and outspoken and are just as likely to blurt out their intentions in front of a crowd of people and wonder why their intended partner is looking so uncomfortable. Because they think of looking for a relationship in such a businesslike manner, they’re open to meeting them anywhere, including on a blind date or set-up. But the ENTJ would rather meet their intended partner as they go through their daily routine, so they can get a good idea of whether their partner can keep up with their hectically busy lifestyle.
ENTJs in the Honeymoon Phase
ENTJs often think of the honeymoon phase like a trial. They’re still testing the relationship, making sure that it will work for both parties. This means they will put everything they have and are into the relationship, and take personal responsibility for its health. They will do this in every practical way they can, but will often neglect the emotional side. ENTJs aren’t good with emotions, and they don’t require much emotional support themselves. This makes it hard for them to understand that other people require emotional support and connection to feel happy in a relationship. This is a big issue for ENTJs, in every facet of their lives, and is an issue they need to work on no matter where the relationship goes.
Moving Past the Honeymoon Phase
As the relationship moves into the comfortable, settled stage the ENTJ will usually find themselves settling happily into the relationships. They enjoy having a supportive, active partner to share their life and their thoughts with and will provide a thoughtful and rational sounding board for their partner’s ideas and goals as well. This attention to development will not wane, and ENTJs often apply this to their relationship as well. They will constantly work hard to make it better and stronger, usually in creative and imaginative ways that are well thought out and meticulously planned. And this combination of creativity, focus and planning can result in a very strong and solid relationship that lasts a long time.
The ENTJs Perfect Partners
ENTJs usually prefer that their partner uses an intuitive function. This makes for easier communication and less misunderstandings, and for an ENTJ, who enjoys systems that work well, it’s only logical to give their relationship that kind of bonus. And on a more personal level, they like to have a partner that can share the kind of speculative, abstract conversations that the ENTJ likes best. This doesn’t mean that an ENTJ won’t match well with someone who uses a sensing process of course, but it’s an added bonus that can make their relationships run more smoothly.
ENTJs enjoy having relationships with other thinkers, particularly people who use introverted thinking. 1 This gives them a similar, rational approach to problems and to life and eliminates some of the emotional excess that ENTJs can’t understand or deal with effectively. ENTJs are famously bad with emotions and have trouble both sensing them in others and dealing with their own. This also means that they have a reputation for being insensitive, which is why feeling types often avoid relationships with blunt ENTJs. They usually don’t intend to hurt other people, but they’re often too unaware of the emotional impact of their words to notice how often they can and do.
ENTJs make strong, loyal partners for the right person. Typically their partners have to be very rational, ENTJs don’t have a lot of patience with emotional drama, and also quite independent as well. ENTJs usually have a lot going on, and don’t like having to take the time away from their goals to deal with what they perceive as someone else’s emotional needs. ENTJs enjoy relationships in which both parties can grow, develop and work towards their goals, and you need to have these qualities in excess to hold the interest of an ENTJ. You also need to have a lot of personal strength to stand up to what is one of the most forceful and commanding of the personality types.
- “Dr. Gary Chapman Explains The 5 Love Languages“. Apr 23, 2013. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- “Introverted Thinking (Ti)“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- “ENTJ – The CEO“.
- Introverted thinking is a very subjective function. It’s concerned with collecting pure data, devoid of emotional content, to make sense of the world. Introverted thinking seeks the truth, which is often very subjective, and doesn’t necessarily need to have their ‘truths’ vetted in the external world.