The ISFP Family Life

ISFPs and their Preferred Family Structures

ISFPs are usually extremely laid-back and willing to defer to others in most situations. This means that they’ll happily go along with what their partner or other family members think is right in terms of the structure and roles in their family. ISFPs are usually more strongly connected to the need to make others happy than to traditional values or roles, which gives them this openness and acceptance of the needs of others. They also use extraverted sensing as a secondary function, which means they’re always happy to experience new things and not very interested in the way they were done in the past. So if their partner or family prefers a certain structure or roles, most ISFPs will just go along with it because they don’t really mind either way.

This can make for a harmonious family, but it becomes a problem if the ISFP actually does feel strongly about the issue but is reluctant to say so. ISFPs can fall into the bad habit of not expressing their needs and wants, and this is something that can damage their family relationships. ISFPs lead with introverted feeling, which is a function that uses personal beliefs and emotions to make decisions. People who use this function often have very strong feelings about issues one way or the other, and if they don’t act in accordance to these feelings they can become very unsettled and upset. ISFPs need to learn to listen to these feelings and express them whenever necessary to make sure they don’t feel used or overlooked by the people around them.

The Dark Side of Families

ISFPs focus on other people and prefer to keep their emotions and thoughts to themselves a lot of the time. This can be a major problem in a family. ISFPs who don’t express themselves can start to feel as if the people around them are taking advantage of their good nature and desire to please. And when this happens, the ISFP can become very bitter and start to see the relationship only in the terms of what they can get from it. They can sometimes become very exploitative when this happens, and may cause a lot of damage in a family group. ISFPs can avoid this problem if they learn to express themselves to the people they’re closest to and if those people make an effort to let the ISFP know they’re heard and understood.

Domestic Life and Potential Sources of Stress

ISFPs have a natural need for independence and space that can make them seem a little distant to some family members. They dislike having their own personal boundaries breached and will usually withdraw if this happens. For other members of their family, who prefer closer and more intense bonds, this can feel like rejection or neglect, when it’s really just the ISFP protecting themselves against intrusion.

ISFPS will also overcome their own desire to be alone and mostly autonomous if it’s what’s best for the people around them. This makes them fairly dependable, despite the fact that they’re perceiving types. ¹ ISFPs are dedicated to the needs of the people around them and will usually work well within a schedule if it means that others are happier and more secure. This creates a great sense of stability and security within their family relationships, and most ISFPs will accept these restrictions on their as an integral part of caring for the people around them.

Finances and Other Responsibilities

ISFPs aren’t good long term planners. This personality type lives in the moment, enjoying every second of their lives. This means they really enjoy their life, but it doesn’t help them when it comes to financial planning. ISFPs don’t usually like to take control of their family’s finances, and they’re not very good at it. They also don’t have the attention to detail that would allow them to focus on the paperwork, and would usually prefer that someone else takes control of this responsibility. But despite this preference, ISFPs are usually fairly good at making money so they can contribute to the family funds. Their extremely practical minds see this as an essential element of being part of a family.

ISFPs are naturally artistic and have a sense for aesthetics and beauty that comes out in every part of their lives. This helps them when it comes to creating a home that’s clean, comfortable and attractive, and most ISFPs are happy to take care of the household chores if this is the end result.

Going the Extra Mile for the Family

ISFPs enjoy being there for their family members. Their feeling function gives them a good understanding of the needs, emotions and motivations of the people around them, which helps the ISFP anticipate their needs and meet them. Healthy ISFPs will become a sounding board for the people around them, always ready with practical advice or sympathy, and the warmth they exude makes others feel very safe and secure in their presence. ISFPs also enjoy showing their affection in practical, concrete ways, so they’ll be the first to plan a party for a special occasion or to remember a special date and celebrate it in some way. This makes them very popular and productive members of a family and a lot of families thrive because of an ISFPs attention and dedication to its needs.

Final Thoughts

ISFPs are often the core of families and their quiet, almost tireless work makes many family groups run smoothly and happily. But they need to make sure that all their efforts don’t go unnoticed or unappreciated if they want to be happy themselves, and this is one of the great challenges for this personality type.

References

1. Irish Chelsea. “Developing “Sensation” for ISFPs and ISTPs“. Apr 3, 2017. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
2. Storm Susan. “What Type of Feeler Are You? The Difference Between Extraverted and Introverted Feeling“. Aug 24, 2015. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
3. “ISFP – The Artist“.

Footnotes

1. This refers to the final letter in the 4 letter designation. ISFPs are perceivers (P), which means they prefer to organize their minds and leave their external world more open to new things.