ESTPs love to explore life, love, and everything else they come across on their journey. This love of sensation and new experiences can make them a little indifferent to the idea of forming a long term relationship when they’re young. But as they get older, they can start to crave having someone to share these experiences with, someone to walk beside them as they explore. And once they acknowledge this need, they make exciting partners who work hard to keep their romantic relationship fresh and exciting.
Romantic Relationship Expectations
ESTPs lead with the extraverted sensing cognitive function. This function likes to explore everything about life, tasting and smelling and touching everything it can to learn and understand more. This makes them extremely active people, who always have new ideas and new adventures planned. And the ESTPs partner needs to understand this urge. This personality type isn’t likely to want to stay at home all day, or to easily tolerate someone who allows their life and relationship to go stale. They need partners who are willing to help make their lives together interesting and adventurous, and will quickly become bored with someone who doesn’t fulfil this need.
The ESTPs love of exploring the world also comes out in their preferred love language. Because they love to seek out new things, they usually want their partner to be at their side, spending quality time with them while experiencing the world. This is one of the ways that ESTPs will expect their partner to show their love and their commitment to the relationship. This type can also be very physically affectionate as well, and will usually expect their partner to be the same.
Meeting Potential Partners
ESTPs are incredibly social people. They love nothing more than being out in the world, meeting new people and exploring new things. And this means that they meet potential partners in every situation and every walk of life. ESTPs are very open to new situations and meeting new people, so would be happy to go on a blind date or attend some sort of set-up event. Their natural confidence is such that they usually make new friends, and perhaps meet new romantic interests, everywhere they go.
ESTPs in the Honeymoon Stage
In the honeymoon phase, ESTPs will be exciting and excited. Their interest in learning about everything will focus on their partner, and the ESTP will be happy to explore everything about their likes, dislikes and personality. Anyone in the honeymoon phase with this type will probably find themselves swept off their feet by the sheer enthusiasm and focused attention this type gives them. ESTPs are likely to drag their new partner off on adventures, find exciting places for new dates, and buy extravagant gifts for their partner if that’s something they enjoy. Their focus on the present means they enjoy every moment of the dating process, and will try to make sure their partner enjoys it as well. One thing is for sure, this time will be a heady mix of exploration and discovery that will make both the ESTP and their partner very happy.
Moving Past the Honeymoon Stage
As romantic partners, ESTPs can be a little flighty. Their dominant function craves novelty, so it can be difficult for this type to settle into a long term relationship with one person. And if they’re a little unhealthy, this dominant function can combine with the tertiary function to create someone who drowns themselves in new sensations and new romantic partners. The introverted feeling tertiary function typically comes out under stress or in times of emotional upheaval, and with this type it can manifest as physical indulgence. It takes maturity and hard work on the ESTPs part to learn restraint and control, and their partner needs to understand this and work with them to make the relationship happy for both parties.
But if the ESTP is healthy and happy, they will work hard on themselves and on their relationship. The ESTPs natural curiosity and openness will help them to understand and learn to meet their partner’s needs, and it will also ensure that their relationship stays fresh and interesting for both parties.
The ESTPs Perfect Partners
ESTPs don’t usually work well with people who use introverted or extraverted intuition as a dominant or auxiliary. They’re too focused on the moment, and on taking action, to enjoy the long, speculative conversations that these personality types need. ESTPs enjoy new ideas and can have these types of conversations, but would prefer to get them finished as quickly as they can and go out and apply that new idea in the real world. They also don’t work well with people who use introverted sensing. This function drives people to look to the past, to cling to the old ways of doing things, and with the ESTPs fondness for novelty, this kind of relationship can quickly become frustrating for both parties.
ESTPs enjoy spending time with other adventurous types, such as people who also use extraverted sensing. This means that their partner shares their zeal for exploring the world, and will quite happily go out on adventures with them. ESTPs can also benefit from being in a romantic relationship with feeler types, those who use introverted or extraverted feeling as a dominant or auxiliary. This pairing will help the ESTP to develop their emotional sensitivity and empathy. Because ESTPs are so social, they’re usually quite adept at understanding emotion despite the fact that they use a thinking process for decision making rather than a feeling process. When their partner is a feeler, this sense will develop much faster and more strongly, to the great benefit of every part of the ESTPs life.
ESTPs can feel like a whirlwind. They have an infectious enthusiasm for everything about life and will apply that to their relationships as well. Because of their love of the new and exciting, ESTPs have a bit of a reputation for being unfaithful, but this is a stereotype that doesn’t apply to everyone of this personality type, or to every relationship they’re involved in. With maturity and some hard work, ESTPs can settle into one relationship happily and will work hard to make every day within that relationship a fun one.
- Priebe Heidi. “Here Is The Top ‘Love Language’ For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type“. Oct 28, 2015. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- “The Tertiary Function“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- Storm Susan. “How Each Myers-Briggs Type Uses Their Tertiary Function“. Nov 20, 2017. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- Storm Susan. “What Type of Sensor Are You? The Difference Between Extraverted and Introverted Sensing“. Sep 22, 2015. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
- “ESTP – The Doer“.