ENTJs are driven and focused and don’t usually seem like a natural match to be a parent. But this overlooks their extreme dedication to their responsibilities and their strong sense of right and wrong. When ENTJs decide to be parents, they dedicate themselves to their tasks. They may not be the warmest parents out there, but their strong wills can often overcome the barriers this can create.
General Overview
At first glance, ENTJs don’t seem like natural parents because they’re usually driven and focused on academic and professional achievement rather than the people around them. And this impression isn’t incorrect. ENTJs are driven by their rational, logical minds and rarely give room to their emotions, so they can find it difficult to be parents. Having to cope with a small person with irrational and wild emotions can be beyond frustrating to this type, and many of them avoid having children altogether. However, when an ENTJ does decide to have children they put everything they have into it and their efforts can produce strong, very independent children who are more than ready to face off against the outside world.
“Having to cope with a small person with irrational and wild emotions can be beyond frustrating to ENTJs, and many of them avoid having children altogether. However, when an ENTJ does decide to have children they put everything they have into it and their efforts can produce strong, very independent children who are more than ready to face off against the outside world.”
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Household Organization and Discipline
An ENTJs household will always be very organized. This type is very good at creating systems that run smoothly, and this will apply to their children as well. ENTJ parents are likely to have a detailed schedule made out with all of their children’s activities and needs on it and will stick to it no matter what. This can be a problem if their children prefer a more relaxed schedule, or if they go through a rebellious stage, but it’s also the solid foundation of the ENTJs life and that is unlikely to change.
ENTJs will have no problems disciplining their children. In fact, it can sometimes go too far the other way. ENTJs have very high expectations for their children and can be too critical if they’re disappointed. This is usually because of the ENTJs lack of emotional intelligence, ENTJs usually value bluntness and honesty in all things, and simply don’t understand that others can be much more sensitive. When this causes problems, ENTJs need to be reminded that everyone fails sometimes and that they need to be gentler when it comes to their children.
The ENTJ and Emotional Support
ENTJ parents will not usually be very good at giving their children emotional support. ENTJs value independence and autonomy in all things, including in their emotional life, and don’t always understand that others have different needs. They’re also famously bad at reading emotions, so will often miss the signs others have unmet emotional needs unless they’re bluntly stated. If their children are the types to express their needs openly, ENTJs will usually try hard to meet those needs, but won’t be very good at it. The ENTJs feeling function is their inferior function, which means they have very few skills in this area and may even be a little afraid of it. ENTJs usually express their emotions only through outbursts when they’re pushed beyond their limits, and this doesn’t make for a lot of emotional connectedness.
The ENTJs Engagement Level
ENTJs take their responsibilities seriously, and to them a child is the greatest responsibility of all. ENTJs often see their children as a reflection of their own values and personal standards, so will put a lot of time into ensuring that their behaviors and achievements reflect well on them. This is usually less focused on general morals and more on intellectual independence and prowess as well as academic and professional achievement. To an ENTJ, these are the marks of a truly impressive, valuable individual and they’ll work hard to pass on these values to their children. To that end, ENTJs will encourage their children to work hard at school and at extracurricular activities and will give whatever support and assistance they can to ensure success.
“ENTJs are usually less focused on general morals and more on intellectual independence and prowess as well as academic and professional achievement. To an ENTJ, these are the marks of a truly impressive, valuable individual and they’ll work hard to pass on these values to their children.”
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The ENTJ and SJ Children
ENTJs will struggle to understand their SJ children, who use introverted sensing as their dominant or auxiliary function. This function is usually very focused on the past, on ways of thinking and doing things that worked before, and ENTJs have little patience for this kind of thinking. ENTJs are future focused and always open to new ideas and ways of doing things, and SJ children will struggle to understand and match this kind of thinking. This can create very contentious relationships and even a degree of disconnection between these types.
The ENTJ and SP Children
SP children will often rebel against their ENTJ parent very young and with determination. ENTJs like structure and organization above all things. They also live for the future, planning every move to get the best result. SPs have a deep need for independence and autonomy that will often conflict with the ENTJs need for order. They prefer to keep things open to possibilities, and schedules just get in the way of that. SPs also prefer to live in the moment, and this will greatly frustrate their ENTJ parents who don’t understand that way of thinking.
The ENTJ and NF Children
“NFs often don’t take criticism well, instead they take it to heart and can be deeply affected by it, so the ENTJ needs to be more aware of what they say and how they say it.”
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ENTJ parents need to learn to be gentler when they have NF children. The shared intuitive function between these types will make communication easy, 1 but the ENTJs emotional insensitivity can hurt NFs deeply. NFs often don’t take criticism well, instead they take it to heart and can be deeply affected by it, so the ENTJ needs to be more aware of what they say and how they say it. This disconnect can cause a lot of problems for ENTJ parents, and they must learn some tact and sensitivity if they want a good relationship with their NF children.
The ENTJ and NT Children
ENTJs will naturally connect with their NT children. Because thinking types prefer communication that is blunt and honest, ENTJ parents will find it easy to understand and be understood by their NT children. The ENTJs lack of emotional intelligence won’t matter as much with NT children, who usually have similar levels of emotional understanding and little interest in changing that. Although this can seem like an ideal situation, ENTJs with NT children need to get the input of someone who is more emotionally aware. Otherwise they may risk completely alienating their children’s emotions rather than teaching them to manage them.
Final Thoughts
ENTJs make strong, driven parents who want their children to grow up to be impressive and independent people who can handle whatever the world throws at them. Because of this, they often have very high standards for their children, and may need to learn to relax them a little. But few other personality types can match the dedication with which this type will apply themselves to teaching and educating their children, and this focus often pays off.
References
- Green Rachel. “EQ At Work: ENTJs At Their Best“. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
- “The Fourth or Inferior Function“. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
- Robinson Michael. “Introverted Sensing (Si) Explained“. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
- “ENTJ – The CEO“.