ENTJs are driven, forceful personality types who are usually the head of every group they’re part of, including their family group. These traits can make family life very challenging, both for the ENTJ and for their family members, but it is by no means impossible. ENTJs are famous for rising to challenges, and they’ll usually find creating a happy family one of the greatest and most meaningful challenges they will ever take on.
ENTJs and their Family Structures
Both male and female ENTJs prefer to lead, and their naturally forceful personalities will usually put them in this position at work and in their family lives. They have little interest in traditional values unless they truly see value in them, and will be more likely to organize their family structures in the way that think best. And if this means swapping gender roles or creating unusual family groups, then they care only that it works, not whether it meets other people’s standards.
The Dark Side of Families
ENTJs usually have high standards for their family members and will push them to meet these standards. This can become a problem in a family situation. Other people usually don’t like being pushed to do something because someone else thinks they should, and may resist the ENTJ or see it as bullying. ENTJs usually won’t understand that their behavior is inappropriate because they aren’t very emotionally aware. They’re concerned with results in the real world and often see emotions as a distraction. This can cause them to emotionally or mentally wound other people with what they say or how they say it, and this can be a major problem when it comes to children or personality types who are more attuned to emotion. ENTJs need to make themselves aware that not everyone sees things the way they do, and that just because they think they know better about how life should be, doesn’t mean they do or that others have to agree.
Domestic Life and Potential Sources of Stress
The ENTJ’s need to have everything done and done right can be a major source of problems and stress in a family. ENTJs are Judging types, which means they like to control their external world, and they have little patience with people who upset the order they crave. This applies particularly to ENTJs who have children, as they usually struggle with the chaos and irrationality that children naturally bring to every situation. This type needs to learn to let go a little when it comes to the order they crave and accept that they can’t always control the emotions or the lives of the people around them. And they shouldn’t really want to if they want the members of their family to be independent, capable people.
This need for order can also create very ordered and safe spaces for a family if the ENTJ can use it without going too far. ENTJs will always do what they say they will do, they’re natural planners who enjoy organizing holidays, trips or schedules, and they’ll work hard to ensure that daily life runs as smoothly as possible. In a family, as parents and as partners, they’ll be extremely dependable and predictable.
Finances and other Responsibilities
ENTJs are one of the best types at getting things done. Their dominant function is extraverted thinking, which is dedicated to completing tasks in the external world, and they’ll apply this to every aspect of their family life. This will usually make them very good at running a household, making sure that chores are completed well, and at controlling and directing the family’s financial holdings. Their need to get these jobs done can sometimes be a little controlling and rigid though, which can cause conflict, and ENTJs need to learn to loosen up on their standards a little when it comes to family members and particularly to children.
The stereotype about ENTJs being good at business is often very true. They thrive in the business world because their upfront, focused, organized approach to life meshes well with this type of environment. This natural inclination for business will usually drive ENTJs to be the breadwinner in their family, and they’ll usually do this very well and with intense enjoyment.
Going the Extra Mile in Families
ENTJs will struggle to give emotional support to their family and may not even understand that others have emotional needs that are going unmet. ENTJs don’t usually have too many emotional needs themselves. Their inferior function is introverted feeling, which means their emotions are usually hidden so well that they’re mostly unaware of them, and so they don’t have the skills to deal with emotions in others. This can be a major problem in all of the ENTJs relationships, and is something they need to work on throughout their lives.
ENTJs want their family to succeed and do well and they’ll dedicate all of themselves to making sure this happens. Because of the ENTJs dominant function, extraverted thinking, they’ll usually have a detailed plan on how to make this happen. This will usually include challenging the members of their family to learn and develop, to problem solve independently and to try out their ideas in the external world. This encouragement and drive to succeed will apply to their children and partner as well as to extended family members. And with the ENTJ drive behind them, those family members can sometimes reach some truly remarkable heights.
ENTJs will usually find it difficult to relate to their family members, and may struggle to offer the emotional and mental connection and support that’s needed in these types of relationships. But even if they do have to learn as they go with the emotional piece, they offer a host of other strengths and benefits that can make for very focused and happy families. And ENTJs will always work hard to make sure that is the end result, and that the relationships within their family are based on a solid foundation of mutual respect and trust.
- Moodie Kirsten. “How Each Myers-Briggs Type Processes Emotions“. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
- Storm Susan. “How You Use Introverted Feeling Based on Its Location in Your Function Stack“. Jan 17, 2017. (Retrieved Feb 2018).
- “ENTJ – The CEO“.