The ENFP Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationship Expectations

ENFPs love to explore the world and there’s nothing they want more than someone who will explore it with them. And their world is a fantastic one, filled with amazing experiences and imagination. They look for a partner who can appreciate and enjoy that, and bring a little of their own unique viewpoint to the experience. That’s why personality types who prefer to stay at home and in routines usually aren’t right for this adventurous type.

ENFPs are also dedicated to self-development and to life development and they expect their partner to hold these values as well. Everything they learn through their relationships and their explorations is designed to help them grow and learn, and they need their relationships to grow in the same way. And anyone who resists this process or doesn’t hold this value will probably find themselves quickly left behind as the ENFP runs off on another glorious adventure.

When in love, or in a new relationship, ENFPs are naturally open with their emotions. They have a good emotional intelligence and are at ease expressing their feelings verbally, or through physical contact. But most of all, ENFPs love having quality time with their loved ones, sharing themselves through conversation and learning about their partner. This is the primary way ENFPs express their love and bond with people and it’s an essential part of relationships to this personality type.

Meeting Potential Partners

ENFPs don’t always want to settle down, particularly when they’re young. Their dominant function, extraverted intuition, drives them to see and explore the world, and this includes exploring relationships. This is why young or immature ENFPs often flit through the world moving from one relationship to the next until they decide they’re ready for something longer term. And when they do, they dedicate themselves to the pursuit of the ideal relationship and make attentive and exciting partners for the right person.

ENFPs don’t like to do things the way other people do it and so don’t enjoy the formal process of looking for a mate. That’s why they often meet potential partners in ways that other types would consider unusual. Set-ups and blind dates or any other type of structured interaction that’s designed to encourage relationships usually bore them, though they do enjoy meeting new people through these interactions. ENFPs are more likely to meet potential partners while they’re out on their adventures, which pretty much guarantees some amount of compatibility. And the characteristic ENFP warmth and empathy means that other people are drawn to them, so they usually have no shortage of potential partners to choose from.

ENFPs in the Honeymoon Phase

In the initial stages of a new relationship ENFPs are usually extremely open with their emotions and happy to be close to their new partner. They’ll give focused attention to learning everything they can about their partner as well, and this kind of intensity can be flattering and even a little intimidating. But with the ENFPs natural charm, emotional intelligence and warmth, it can also be an intensely exciting time and both parties will probably enjoy it completely.

ENFPs often use this time to demonstrate that they can be a good partner and to make sure they’ve chosen well. They understand innately that this is a testing period, in which compatibility is key, and they’ll do everything they can to prove their reliability and trustworthiness. ENFPs can go a little overboard at this stage and overwhelm their partner with their effusive nature, but most personality types find this zeal charming and even a little flattering.

Moving Past the Honeymoon Phase

ENFPs are extremely emotionally intelligent and they bring this intelligence to their relationship to its great benefit. They’re naturally warm and affectionate and will clearly express their emotional needs in the relationship as well as tend to the needs of their partner. This openness and emotional confidence can be incredibly attractive to a lot of different personality types, and also helps to keep their relationships healthy and happy.

But this warmth is not to be mistaken for a complete picture of the ENFPs heart and mind. Despite their openness, ENFPs keep a lot inside, and will trust people with it slowly and over time. They are surprisingly hesitant to share their idealistic and sensitive inner heart because once they do, their partner can cause immense harm if they betray them. This kind of trust is a gift, and the ENFP will give it only to people who prove worthy of it.

The ENFPs Perfect Partners

Like most intuitive types, ENFPs pair best with other personality types who use an intuitive function. ¹ This allows them to bond using deep, meaningful conversations and also to indulge in them on a regular basis even once the relationship is established. ENFPs may partner with a sensing type, but this lack of intuitive interactions will often cause them to look outside of the relationship to get this need met. This is not to say that the ENFP will cheat on their partner, but intuitive types need these types of conversations to feel healthy, and if they pair up with a sensing type will probably have to find friends or family members who can meet this essential need.

ENFPs find everyone fascinating. They have an innate ability to see life through the eyes of other people and are endlessly fascinated by the idea of refining that picture. That means that they bond easily with lots of different types, but are especially attracted to people who use a thinking function as their dominant or auxiliary. This combination can bring a good balance to the ENFPs life, and their preference for this pairing shows the extent of their natural emotional intelligence. Pairing with a thinker can ground the emotional ENFP. It can teach them to think more before they do and to weight the costs and benefits of their choices. And in turn, the ENFP has the pleasure of showing their bright and exciting world to a personality type who can often be too wrapped up in their heads to see it.

Final Thoughts

ENFPs can take a little time to settle down. They look on life as one big adventure and don’t always see why they should settle with one person or lifestyle when there’s so many options out there. But with a bit of maturity, and after a lot of exploration, they’ll begin to see the attraction of a steady relationship. And when they do, they’ll dedicate all of their considerable charm and talents into making that relationship a happy one.

References

1. Moodie Kirsten. “How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to the Love Languages“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
2. “Extraverted Intuition (Ne)“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
3. “ENFP – The Discoverer“.

Footnotes

1. Intuitive types use introverted or extraverted intuition as their dominant or auxiliary function. This means that they learn by sensing the patterns of life and making connections between ideas. It also means that they have a deep need for regular abstract conversations that sensing types can’t always meet.