The ENFP Friendship Experience

General Overview

ENFPs tend to have a really big circle of friends because their open, active nature is appealing to everyone. Outgoing and active personalities will naturally gravitate towards the ENFP, happy to join in their adventures. And the ENFPs natural warmth and effervescence means they can draw even the quietest personality type out of their shells. They do this with unusual focus and dedication, something about the quieter personality types really seems to fascinate ENFPs, and their efforts can create friendships that are long lasting and mutually satisfying.

ENFPs have a natural idealism that infects everything they do. It’s why they explore the world, because it’s all fascinating to them and they want to see it all. And it’s why they’re constantly connecting to people and trying to work out what drives them. But it can also be a problem when it’s applied to friendships. When an ENFP works out that one of their friends has flaws or can’t keep up with their restless nature they can become disillusioned and withdraw. And nothing will cause that to happen faster than learning that a friend isn’t putting their whole heart into the relationship. ENFPs do this naturally, and expect the same from the people they choose to be close to.

ENFP friendships with NTs

ENFPs often find NTs fascinating and actively seek out this type when they’re looking for friends. ENFPs use introverted feeling as their secondary function, which makes them fairly emotionally intelligent. But NTs, with their rational minds, are quite different in the way they make decisions and the way they see the world. And anything that’s different interests ENFPs. A friendship between these types is often made stronger by the differences between them, and is based on learning from these differences.

ENFPs and NTs will usually have long, abstract conversations that explore everything from the meaning of life to the motivations of the people around them. The more rational NTs can ground the flighty ENFPs, giving them reasonable support and advice about their many ideas. And the ENFPs love of life can brighten up the NTs world and make it seem far more vital and interesting. And that’s how this relationship will often work, with both parties able to support and challenge each other in precisely the right way for both to grow.

ENFP friendships with NFs

A relationship between an ENFP and other NFs will be based on both their similarities and their differences. From these friends, ENFPs will get the warmth and the sincerity they need as well as the abstract, speculative conversations they love so much. As feelers, ¹ NFs also have the emotional intelligence to understand the emotional needs and requirements of the ENFP and to meet them while still getting their own emotional needs met. And this mutual give and take is precisely what ENFPs are looking for from their relationships.

Other NFs will also have the emotional intelligence to see when the ENFP needs to slow down and tend to their own needs. ENFPS are known for neglecting their emotional, financial, and even physical health when they’re distracted by new ideas or by the needs of others. That’s why they sometimes need a caring friend who can let them know when they’re doing this and help them get back into a healthy pattern.

ENFP friendships with SPs

ENFPs love to have a lot of people around them and they genuinely enjoy connecting with lots of different personality types. They are often naturally drawn to SP types because of their independent and curious nature. SPs use extraverted sensing, which drives them to seek novelty and to get out and see the world. And ENFPs, with their dominant extraverted intuition function, will probably meet them somewhere out there.

ENFPs, who are often too much in their own head, can also benefit from the SP ability to just enjoy the moment completely devoid of deeper meanings and musings. And in turn, ENFPs can encourage SPs to be just a little more cautious and thoughtful about what they do without restricting them in any way. This adventurous bond can make these two types fast friend, although the ENFP will probably struggle a little because of the lack of an intuitive bond, which means they usually won’t share many of the deep conversations ENFPs love so much.

ENFP friendships with SJs

ENFPs may struggle to understand SJ types, particularly those who are rigid or stuck in the past. ENFPs are future focused, always planning for tomorrow and the wonders it can bring. In fact, the introverted sensing function is their inferior function, which means they often outright hate rigid structures and institutions, and have very little interest in comparing the present to events from the past. SJs use introverted sensing as their dominant or auxiliary function, which means this is often the lens through which they see the world and the way they learn. This fundamental difference between these two types can be a barrier to a long term friendship between SJs and the irrepressible ENFP.

Final Thoughts

ENFPs are complex and giving people who expect a lot from the people they let into their lives. Luckily, they’re also really understanding and can see others points of view easily, so they usually understand that people don’t express themselves as easily as they do. They will happily make room for these differences, while encouraging openness and growth and exploration. And with this kind of support, even the most emotionally insensitive personality types tend to relax and allow themselves to grow and change.

References

1. Irish Chelsea. “Developing Authenticity for ESFPs and ENFPs“. Jan 5, 2017. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
2. “Extraverted Intuitive Types: ENTP & ENFP” (extract from “In the Grip – Our Hidden Personality” book by Naomi L. Quenk). Feb 22, 2015. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
3. “ENFP – The Discoverer“.

Footnotes

1. Feelers use a feeling function as either their dominant or their auxiliary function. This can be either extraverted or introverted feeling, and it usually gives the user a greater emotional intelligence than people who use a thinking function have.